Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
