my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
