I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
