So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
