I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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