Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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