ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
