Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I could make wine with my vomit
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
