Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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