i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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