Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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