is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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