My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
