I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
