I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
