We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
