3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
