i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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