Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
