A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
