Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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