Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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