What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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