i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
