It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize