I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
