Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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