I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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