I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
