and you said cock pushups were impossible
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
