i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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