Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
