you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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