i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
