i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
