how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
