...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
