his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
