Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
