Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Still dying that you shit outside
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
