the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
