capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
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