Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize