On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
