If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize