Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
