I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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