How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
