There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
