I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
