i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
