I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
