Whod you bang
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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