That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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