just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
