yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
