woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
