Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
