The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
