ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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