couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
