I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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