Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
