She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
