Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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