I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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