I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
