Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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