OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
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