Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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