do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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