i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
