Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
