I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
