god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Nicole vs. Life
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
